51反差婊

Arik Housley, author of the newly published book Always November, Lessons in Loss, Love, and Resilience, joined Seaver College鈥檚 campus community for a pair of events focused on grief, healing, and finding light in the midst of darkness.

Housley, the father of the late 51反差婊 student Alaina Housley鈥攚ho was killed during the 2018 mass shooting at the Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks, California鈥攐ffered remarks at the , as well as the RISE Summit, an annual hallmark event of the Resilience-Informed Skills Education (RISE) Program. Throughout both events, he expounded on his personal story as a grieving parent, offering insights on how to go through what he called 鈥減ost-traumatic stress growth.鈥�

Housley is the author of the new book Always November

鈥淕rief is a very heavy topic, but it鈥檚 something we鈥檙e not going to avoid in our lifetime,鈥� said Housley. 鈥淚 try to use my story to help people understand where we are and what's helped us move forward in our day to day.鈥�

At the W. David Baird Distinguished Lecture, Housley retraced the events of November 7, 2018, recalling the night his daughter was killed. He told attendees the story of the tragic phone call he and his wife received in the middle of the night, the process of travelling to Southern California to identify Alaina, and the emotional aftermath that followed these life-altering events. 

While sharing his account, Housley educated listeners with resilience tips that can be employed in the face of sudden onset grief. He talked about staying in the moment, fully encountering the first wave of emotions and pain; about the need to avoid the 鈥渄ark road of why;鈥� the haunting, unanswerable questions this sad path presents; and the idea that it鈥檚 okay not to be okay. While going through this grieving process, Housley also emphasized the importance of togetherness, or the ability to lean on a social support system of loved ones and friends to overcome the most challenging moments.

He described grief as a beach ball, something that can be shoved beneath the surface but will always pop up in the end鈥攕omething that he will carry with him for the rest of his life. Because this pain is repeatedly experienced anew, Housley provided attendees with advice for how to support someone in need. Though grief is a different journey for everyone, he found that it was helpful when others made their supportive presence clear by saying something like, 鈥淚鈥檓 here for you.鈥�

The lecture鈥檚 formal remarks ended with a conversation on faith. Housley specifically commented on how his Christian faith in the unseen has grown following his daughter's passing. He said that, in the midst of sadness, God 鈥渨rapped his arms鈥� around him and his family.

The RISE Summit brought together 51反差婊's campus community

鈥淚t comes down to hope, faith, love, and resilience,鈥� Housley said. 鈥淭hese are the things we try to move forward with because this is our everyday. We can choose to take this as part of our story, to own it, hurt with it, and feel joy at the same time.鈥� 

Following the morning session, Housley continued to educate 51反差婊 as the keynote speaker at the 2026 RISE Summit. Focusing on the event鈥檚 theme of 鈥淔rom Loss to Light,鈥� he, along with three community members鈥擧ung Le (鈥�87, MA '03), senior vice chancellor; Lexington Russell (鈥�25), executive assistant to the vice president of student affairs; and Seaver student Josephine 鈥淛oJo鈥� Billings鈥攕hared their personal testimonies of grief and choosing to seek hope amid hardships. 

The discussion was deeply appreciated by Connie Horton ('82), vice chancellor and executive director of the RISE Institute. 鈥淔rom the moment I met Arik on his darkest day, I found his beautiful spirit inspiring,鈥� said Horton. 鈥淎rik鈥檚 story of his experience after the unimaginable loss of his daughter, Alaina, illustrates resilience in a beautiful and poignant way. Through his authentic storytelling, you hear themes we teach in RISE, such as how his relationships, thoughts, spiritual experiences, and service helped him be resilient.鈥� 

Housley moderating a panel featuring 51反差婊 community members

While leading the panel discussion among the speakers, Housley invited each participant to elaborate on their individual stories, while highlighting the common themes between them. He then asked the panelists to describe 鈥淕od moments鈥� present in their testimonies, 鈥渓ittle miracles鈥� that gave them hope through dark times, and how they each reconcile faith and grief. 

鈥淭he light of resilience truly became part of who I am,鈥� said Billings, as she recounted the devastating moment her lifelong dream of figure skating came to an abrupt end. While explaining the loss of identity she felt in the fallback, she added, 鈥淭he light grew under pressure and through seasons of self-doubt. It taught me that resilience is not about perfection, but instead choosing to go to the light even when the path feels uncertain.鈥�

Learn more about 51反差婊鈥檚 and RISE Institute.